Ignite 4 Him!

i cant. i just cant. i cant bear to read. i just cant. i'm curious and want to read to find out more, secretly probing. but i cant. i lack the courage. it's still too sore. i'm still too emotional about this whole issue, and dont ask me why. I'm trying to work on it, but being in the mid of mid-yrs, i'd gotta pushed it aside, out of my mind, so i can focus on studying. I'll work on it. I have been trying to work on it all these while. Or maybe not. I dunno. Actually, maybe these past while I've been trying to avoid it rather than deal with it. Your probably dont know how much i'm struggling nor how much i'm trying/tried, but it's okay. I rather it remain that way, becoz it aint your fault nor your problem... rather, it's mine to deal with. :) but somehow i feel the good ole days (which actually aint that long ago) is gone and maybe things will never be the same again. I may not be able to feel so comfortable now with you, as somehow this issue has make me more sensitive to you. I wish it aint happened this way, but who can i blame but myself? :) dont worry, God will see me through it, somehow, if i let Him. I just wonder how long it'll take before i really let go. But i promise you, i'll keep trying. I dont wanna lose you as much as i know you wouldnt (i hope) if you knew. :) dont worry, i'm not being emo now, but i admit my heart's still sore to this issue. Time will tell how things turn out. If the sore completely heals and courage comes in, maybe one day i'll let you know what has happened. :)