Ignite 4 Him!

2 things most often on my mind recently... friends, and guys. Here, I guess when I write, I can be quite honest, as I'm not exactly writing for anyone to see, although i kinda half hoped, yet not, that someone might see. I guess here is still ultimately where I'm most comfortable with, at blogger. haha. i guess the livejournal idea dint really work well for me, not now at least. Someone suggested I be more open in my blog and kinda dont be such a 'goody-two-shoe' on my blog. Tried just that, but guess I often get carried away with my emotions, which is why i usually hide those kinda posts in the past, and thus that hurt pple and tire pple. i moved to livejournal to give myself more freedom to express myself and be more open with friends and pple who care. That friend who commented i should be more open dint even add me as livejournal friend to find out more about my life. so, well guess that idea dint work out. at least now that i have directed everyone to livejournal, i guess for now, during this period of time where things have become uncomfortable, i kinda have the freedom and peace of mind to kinda freely blog here, hoping and knowing that likelihood no one will tread this thought-'forgotten' ground.

Fern: But why don't you write in your private blog then? You used to own one. If you write in there, no one will see, giving you the freedom to write whatever you wish, won't it?
Me: i dun exactly know. kinda ironic right? to kinda not want pple to view it, yet publishing it publicly. guess private blog makes things seem just so secretive, and that just dont really fit me. I dont like being secretive, which is the reason why every now and then i invite specific few into my private blog then worried about them seeing such a raw me, struggling to keep my private blog totally private or let a few know.
Fern: I think I get your point. You want freedom to write without having to worry about how it may affect others, and yet you do not want to be hiding anything. We'll just have to see how this idea holds up.