Funnily was that I din't know what to do when I saw him, and ended up wishing he was there and just wanted to hide away from him, shun away from him. I don't understand why. As if I felt afraid to approach him and his friend. Sighs. The letting go is just so hard.
There was so much I wanted to type as I was coming home.. but now, in front of the computer, I don't wanna think, I don't wanna type. I just wanna mop. :(
I wish I have never started liking him. Then things will never have become like that.
I wish I have never listened to my sister's leader when she commented "It's not healthy to have only friends who are girls. You should have a balance of both."
--> for becoz of this, I befriended guys in JC that 'tortured' me mentally and emotionally; it's those 2 years where I ended up liking the second one, and went through a period of distraction and struggle to let go of feelings.
--> for becoz of this, I became open to be close friends with guys, fell in love with a group that has many guys, built strong friendship with them, and then worry about my closeness with them, and thus needing to struggle to let go of the close friendships; also during this same period, I built even stronger friendship with the current one, and I can't get my mind off him, but I want to make myself let go and thus the current (which has been on-going for months months) struggle.
If only. If only I have never listened nor minded my sister's leader and stayed away from guys around me age. The safest are still the younger and the much older. Sighs.
-- End of Convo --
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