18th birthday

wow. i'm 18 years old. tat's erm.. fast? haha. i feel old. XD becoz i am! haha

18th birthday, lotsa pple say tat's one of the significant birthdays, special.. *shrug*

well, it wasnt anything near special today.

received birthday greetings and well wishes SMSes even before i woke up. got 4 before i woke up, and another 13 more throughout the day. =)
thank you all who remembered, especially when i actually dint expect quite a number of you individuals to remember.

Not forgetting my wonderful class - 0836, who a few gal frens kindly remembered, when i actually thot everyone wld forget since everyone's busy wif open house ytd, and got a nice mango cake, of which we cut and shared among the class. :) and for all the other 0836 birthday well wishes as well. thanks pple.

and thank you friends whom saw me in school and wished me. Thanks! =)

HOWEVER, despite all the "happy birthdays". Today wasnt exactly very happy. morning lessons were alright. was still quite okay. a little sore for having to cancel my bowl&pool plans after school, becoz there was cca...but still expected afternoon to be fun too, since drama usually is, even if it's slightly at times.

to my great disappointment, we were told to do research for an hour, browsing through 10min plays.. and i was already tired.. so i was totally bored and sian diao. should have just gone for bowling. xp

sigh. ended up in kinda a low mood by the time drama was ending. guess i was kinda very disappointed in the turnout of my birthday. dun really have surprises ('cept for the cake), no pressies, waste my time when i could have gone out to play or even relaxing at home in the afternoon, dint spend much time wif loved ones, go home still have to do homework..
thinking about these just made me kinda frustrated and i guess sad as well, becoz tears pricked my eyes. was struggling to keep off the negativities, but it was very very very hard. at certain moments i felt so overwhelmed, but i kept praying.

i felt sad and all that on my birthday, though i was remembered, i dint feel exactly very appreciated (frankly, no offense).. maybe becoz just letting the bad mood sink in. but later at home, i realised that it wasnt very important. i dont have to feel appreciated, becoz i know that there are people that do care for me and love me, though they may not have shown it so much today. =)

i was disappointed that i dint really spent my day much with anyone close, even classmates. On my way home i was thinking, if i could just have some time today chatting with my 2 teacher-mentor-friends, that would have made my day! miss them lots, and they happen to be friends who knows my heart and can make me smile, while advicing me and guiding me in life, though not so much since i left sec sch. still, we kinda still keep in contact, at least for one.

at least i did spent quality time with another mentor yesterday (early bday fellowship bah XD ) and we had a good time chatting and sharing. I'm so so glad and grateful for that meet up. It meant a lot to me. becoz I've been waiting long, since end camp, till now to confess the thing that God has prompted me to go and confess to a leader so He may truly break that chain. and HALLELUJAH! it cldnt be done before the new year, but it was done before i enter my 19th year!!! Wheeeeee... haha.

Really thank you so much dear mentor-sis (no, not biological sis, but sis in Christ), for listening, for not changing your viewpoint on me, for accepting me, for advicing me and teaching me how to carry on, walking and submitting to God. Thank you so much for planning to follow-up on me, and initiate my accountability to you, becoz as much as i may have wanted (and i did), i will never dare to impose myself on you, busy as you are.
But I truly thank the Lord how our conversation even got me to share wif u my struggles in accountability & trusting/sharing wif pple, and u understood, and assurred me. i treasure that sentence you said, "yes, i am busy, but surely i can spare one hour of my time to meet up with you and talk to you."

Just to let you know mentor-sis (though i doubt u'll actually read this), when i went back, i did 2 out of the 5 things you challenged me to do in submission that very night. Praying with authority over my bed & room, and worshipping the Lord with my guitar on my bed. it went successfully well. actually just so tired, play guit until falling asleep, kept it, then bam! feel asleep back on my bed. haha.

anyways, back to today.

i thank GOD my birthday DINT end on a bad note, despite the disappointments of the day.

when i reached home, i grabbed my guitar and started worshipping the Lord, song after another. then I spent time with Him, reading His Word. Still having problems waiting upon Him and listening to Him, but I'M WORKING ON IT! =D

so though i dint spent much quality fellowship time with any of the many pple real close to my heart today, i spent QUALITY & QUANTITY time with the most precious and beloved person of my life, my lover & true love. and tat's all that really matters. He chased away all the negativities and renewed joy in my heart.

seriously DINT get much pressies this round. though i got one surprise pressie, from good dear 'ole' lou. so sweet and nice of her. i'm until now seriously touched by her gift. She actually came all the way down my house to deliver my gift - garlic bread, homebaked japanese cheese spongue cake, one day in advance(means ytd lor). i was suprised. she never gave me anything for my birthday before. the cake was unique in looks and taste. it's the thought that counts and mean so much to me... tat my fren came all the way down to drop my birthday gift for me. Thanks gal. I'm real touched.
the only other 2 presents i received are from my sis and mom! thanks lot. i like the FUNKY B voucher(yes, can buy new shirt) and a nice 'pick Jesus' pick. i like the pretty yellow bag mom gave me too.

well, tat's all my account for my birthday. i'm grateful to know i'm remembered. that my family and frens love me. and though it's true that unhappy times may come,i can do something about it, becoz God is wif me.
Indeed the greatest gift today was the time i spent with my Lover the Lord, and that's how that matters and is imprortant.

signing off, goodnite
(this is 2.13am becoz i spent time doing homework before blogging.. and there's school till 5.30pm tmr.)