the controversy

You say i'm quiet, yet you say i talk too much.
You say i'm mature, yet you say i'm childish/naive/innocent
You say i'm too introverted, yet you complain i'm extroverted
You say i think too much, yet you think i don't think enough/a lot
You say i care too much, yet you think i dont care at all
You call me friend/sister, yet deep down you dont consider me more of a significant in your life except a person that bypasses you
You say we're friends, yet you don't act as if we are one
You say i care too much for pple, yet you think i don't really care about you
You say i dont share, yet you think i share too much
You say i'm too 'holy' and righteous, yet you have a condemning look when i mention strong but not yet vulgar words
You say i try too hard, yet you say maybe i dint try hard enough
You say i'm sensitive, yet you say i'm insensitive
You say i'm smart, yet you say "aiyoh. so simple also dont know." very often
You say i'm nice, yet you say i'm mean and evil
You say i'm sweet, yet you say i'm violent
You say you enjoy my presence/friendship, yet you shun away from me
You say i'm unique/different/special, yet you say i'm just like everyone else - normal
You say i rely too much on God and don't trust people, yet when i trusted you you let me down times again and again
You say i should hang out more with friends, yet when all of you plan a big group outing, you never invited me, even the last time when the whole class knew about it, i don't
You say i need to speak up more, i should share more, yet when i really want to share, you do not want to listen, you do not listen
You say i can act, yet you say i cannot act
You say i'm funny, yet you say i'm not funny at all
You say i'm boring, yet when i try hard to be more fun and crack jokes, or even to the point of making 'smart retorts/statements', you give me a -.-" look and a sacarstic tone
You say i emo too much, yet when i'm all high and crazy just so to avoid emo-ness, you can't stand it and wonder aloud where do i get all these energy from and thinking i wish she'll shut up
You say i spend too much time in church/doing church stuffs, yet you give me no reason to want/no opportunities to hang out often with you people in school
You say i should exercise more, yet as friends/family you don't even care enough to make an effort to encourage me or play a game with me
You say i should lighten up, yet you think that i don't take things seriously enough
You say i'm not open in my blog, that my life seems too perfect by writing only the good in my life, yet when i share the darker side of my life, you wonder why i'm so emo, you get worried, and you criticise and further judge me


Becoz of all these, you all are confusing me big times... how can i not doubt you? how can i not hide myself and how i feel? how can i live up to your expectations? the world's expectations for me is so GREAT! and whatever i do NEVER seems to be able to satisfy anyone. Then you'll probably say, "don't care lah. Don't care what others think."... but you'll be still expecting all these out of me, you'll still be continuing saying the same thing, you'll wonder how come i become so distant and so unfeeling. haha! very funny.


DISCLAIMER: 'You' is being very generalised and MAY not mean a pariticular person or a particular group. It's a collation of controversy i've 'collected' over the past years. most lines, are by different people, but some lines, both ends were sproken/said and sensed by the same people - individuals or groups.