"You're not always right, you know."

That doesnt mean I'm always wrong. Who are you (anyone) to judge me? You dont even know a tinkling of what i'm going through. You do not even know how people have been treating me. You do not even know what I sense about people's actions, beyond the words and actions you may see. You do not know, becoz many of you do not observe things the way i do. Many of you just take in words and actions, but somehow i sense beneath a person's words and actions. I don't take a particular case to build up my impression of a person. I analyse the person's constant words, tone, actions that shows a person's character, attitude, and mindset behind stuffs. It's not something i consciously do; it's not an intention of mine... it's something i naturally and instinctively do... my senses reaching out and immediately doing an analysis for me, constantly updating it. It's something i cannot stop nor do i see a reason to stop. So if you're saying hypocrisy, i can think of a thousand more examples i see in real life, and even from you, YOU, whoever you may be who's reading this and i know you personally.

I know i'm not always right, but my senses and analysis seldom proved me wrong. I used to doubt it, but not anymore. Yes, sometimes i tend to exaggerate things, i am aware of that. But beneath it lies a lot of truth. It's not just fantasy. To you, it may be making a big fuss of something small. But for me to exaggerate anything, it's NOT something small to me. of course, i can be something small to you, becoz...
1. it does not affect you. It's MY problem, not yours.. why would it affect you to be anything significant?
2. becoz you dont care. majority of our society really care about very few things. yes, friendship/relationships and stuffs do get to them once in a while, but they move on after a while, being numb and desensitised
3. you live for yourself, you really care little about the world around you... like i say you're getting numb and desensitised.

who are you to judge whether i'm right or wrong unless you have more or less full information regarding that subject? but do you really care? (i'm not saying you dont care, but do you really care?) no. you judge, you critic. but you don't bother to find out more before coming to a conclusion. Like most people in our society nowadays, many of you, i'm not saying all, dont bother to try to understand, trying to get more information to do a good analysis, before giving your judgement, before giving your comments. I've tried, i've 'surveyed' (not of intention but of desperation to share) and out of the more than 20 people, currently i only have 1 (my dear smurf) who'll listen, and listen to the fullest, slightly probing here and there before trying to give me some perspective, and being honest in saying she has little to advice instead of like some others trying too much to advice, when sometimes all i need is a listening ear and a little assurance, that's all. It's that simple, but few can do that. i have another 4 more, adults, who listen well and understands before speaking. yes, these 4 may speak more, offer more guidance and really give good advice, but they do it not to show off that they have more wisdom, but they fully grasp the situation before speaking. i know, becoz when they speak my situation they identify things which i myself have not realised and put in words what's so real deep down. But these 4 are not consistent. They're seasonal and there's nothing i can do about it. 1 more peer who's good at listening and empathising, but i dont dare disturb chloe too much knowing "how busy you must, so i'm sorry for wasting your time" (it's an inside-dramaNight statement), esp being a councillor, and being in RJC preparing for A levels as well.

There's nothing wrong with expressing your view... i like that. i encourage that. i like people to tell me what they think so as not to let my mind wander and accuse you for wanting to say/comment something about me, which my senses clearly tells me, but you darent/dont wanna say. I'm just using this as a phrase to lash out.

"You're not always right" doesn't mean I'm usually wrong, just because i think and process things very differently from most of you, and thus you cannot see, understand, analyse where i'm coming from, which is not your fault.

DISCLAIMER: this is seriouly not to the shoot the person who said this first statement down but i'm just tapping on what you said to express how i've been feeling deep down about this issue. i know this post will probably hurt someone, or maybe quite a few people, but at this moment, i'm beginning to really not care.