"sometimes, you think too much"

Now, define what you mean by thinking too much. what is thinking? what is too much?
maybe i'm not thinking too much... maybe it's because you are thinking too little. What is a brain when you dont use it to think?
maybe i'm not thinking too much... maybe i seem like to you is because i think differently from you, i think more in an aspect foreign and thus uncomfortable to you, and you dont know what to make up of it becoz you dont think in that aspect and thus you label it as thinking too much.

this is not an uncommon statement made to me. and i understand where they're coming from. sometimes i think i think too much too. i rmb NWK said to me before, "you're smart. but you're too smart such that you link up different things together, and thus create the mess you're in." (well, something like tat.. the meaning is there, at least.) and yes, it's true (though i dont agree with the smart part)... but that's how i think. i link things up. this is my strength and yet my weakness.

strength is that i think in a more wider perspective than others, considering the different alternatives, and thus most of the time, i can understand others better and can help people understand the other's perspective better. it's just simply pulling a few of the factors together, linking the different floating things, that consitutes of the different memory thingys i rmb learning in lower sec when they thought us about mind-mapping, in the brain.

weakness is becoz every action/response you make is noted in my head and is also linked to give the final analysis. no, i'm not asking you to act in front of me. but i'm saying that your direct words and actions dont always fool me. yes, some may be genuine, but i can sense when there's displeasure behind your eyes. dont ask me how i do that. your choices speaks of you, but not many noticed that.

so... yes, perhaps i 'think too much', compared to most of you..

but the main reason why you probably think i 'think too much' is becoz most of you dont bother to think so much in the first place. in our society today, most people think too little. they may think that they think a lot, but probably in the very unsignificant trails of thoughts. they think too little in aspects like human relationships, understanding the other parties, the logic and reasoning behind the actions of people but instead pple tend to criticise&get angry at decisions made without first thinking much about it... etc etc etc.

there is though, some people who also think a lot, though very very few... i know a few of them though, but that's even fewer that the very very few. for these people who also like to comment that i think too much... analysing it, it's probably, i wont say definite, that it's because though you may think a lot, but it's very in the mind, very logical, very scientific. yes, even if you're an arts student. why do i say that. most people, from my observation and knowledge they think with their mind (duh!) but do not engage them much with the heart, with the spirit, with the inner being... yes, you may use psychology, you may use philosophy, but you're likely to have just being analysing with the mind, and even if you engage with the heart, it's highly likely you're just engaging with the emotions that helped heightened what your mind confirms. i dont know how to put these in words. i'm a person who feels and sense and seldom logicalised with the mind itself, thus some things which i understand cant be put in words.
but with the set of thinking a lot but in quite varying aspects of it, it's no wonder you cant understand and comprehend where the trail of my thoughts come from and thus this foreign aspect of thinking, you're uncomfortable with it. becoz your mind cant comprehend it, and in your sub-conscious mind you know that you think a lot, but this is out of the box, so your mind (i'm not saying the conscious you... go figure the definition of 'conscious' i'm referring here) labels it as thinking too much simply becoz your 'analytic' mind cant make it out. sometimes, we just have to admit that our analytic-ness are different from others but nonetheless that aint a reason to look down at it.

so am i thinking too much? sometimes, yes. but not always. there MUST be something that sparks off all these thinking. But the question you may wanna ask yourself is that... is it becoz you yourself think too little about what should be important issues, being numbed out by what the world has to offer, by its influence, whether through media, technology, the mundanity of the education system/work, etc. it's like what my class have been reading in our recent GP articles... so 0836 pple, refer and infer.

unless you can comprehend where i am coming from, unless you can truly recognise for yourself what is the importance of these thoughts to me, and how it's a part of me, unless you can understand these thoughts, then can you truly comment whether i think too much or not. but the prob is that... that's too hard for you. so far 3 or so people can do it, and they're adults with much wisdom, and genuine care as well, maybe to a certain extent understanding me back then better than i do myself. but peers, prove me wrong. prove me wrong that my aspect of thinking is much mature than yours, but prove me wrong only if you really can... dont try too hard otherwise. one day, you may get there, eventually... dont let the things of the world distract you and numb you (and i'm NOT talking about this in the spiritual sense).

DISCLAIMER: this is seriouly not to the shoot the person who said this first statement down but i'm just tapping on what you said to express how i've been feeling deep down about this issue. i know this post will probably hurt someone, or maybe quite a few people, but at this moment, i'm beginning to really not care.